What are the steps to a new life?

Like I have posted in any venue that i have access to, i have become quite stagnant. I do not feel that i am moving forward in my life. 30 kinda scares me. what did i think i would be doing when i turned 30? where would i be in life? did i even think about it until recently?
i like to say that i peaked in life early-maybe late high school/early college. is that just an excuse to not move forward? i'm constantly living in the past or in the future. where is my present? i don't want to look back & think that i wasted the best years of my life.
i'm not really trying even though i tell myself i am. i'm not putting the work in since i have always thought it should come naturally.
i do love my job & it does challenge me, sometimes too much. i need to get out of my head a little more & be more about action. my thoughts drive me slightly batty.
maybe a solid plan? how to i guarantee that i will follow thru? i go back & forth between being strong-willed & weak-willed. weird huh??!!

Today's Horoscope (Gemini) on Excite

"Big personalities are arriving on the scene, today, and they might try to crowd you out of the action. The best approach for these kinds of people is to just let them have the stage. If you fight them for the limelight, they'll only push back at you harder. To get things started on the right foot, you should step back and give up some of your share of the attention. They won't notice your sacrifice, so don't expect any gratitude. But you will be making your life a lot easier."

I should have read this before I went to work-maybe I would've been expecting the shitstorm.

Frustration sets in...or it never left

I am very territorial at work. In some respects I think it is valid but it's not exactly healthy. Trust should be earned, not expected especially in certain environments. I feel like people don't get me. I don't think that I am that complicated of a person, maybe oversensitive at times but not complex. This is just the way I am & it makes me sympathetic and empathetic to people. Sometimes I think my boss just thinks that it makes me pathetic. She makes me feel bad a lot. Is it me or is it her? Probably a little from column A, a little from column B.
I need more than a vacation. I'm glad that I am getting away to a cabin in Maine soon but a weekend trip is not long enough. I need money to make that happen. I am trying real hard not to be negative but it's a challenge-I have always been quite the little pessimist. Maybe it's easier to feel sorry for myself & play the martyr but how far has that gotten me? We all know the answer to that.
My ex's twin bro just got married & a bunch of people posted pics on facebook/myspace. It made me feel really nostalgic & quite sad. It's been so long since I was a part of that world. If I hadn't left CT, would I have been there? And many other questions I don't even want to consider came to mind as well. Hmmmmmm

know when to hold em, know when to fold em

i need a better filter. you know, more of the thinking before any of the speaking. i'm only hurting myself in the long run.
self-awareness is great but without change is practically useless & muy frustrating para mi.

Parker's regimen

My sweet baby doggy, Parker, just got surgery to remove a cancerous tumor. I've been giving him all the antibiotics/pain meds that the vet prescribed but i have also been doing my own healing extravaganza for him.
I've been going heavy on the homeopathics-arnica for inflammation and bruising, staphysagria to promote the healing of his incision. When he first got home, i was giving him arnica every 1/2 hour. Now I have reduced the dosage to 3-5 times/day. I can already tell it's helping since they incision area looks much better than before. It's healing nicely!
Also I have been giving him concentrated aloe juice to help reduce the risk of tumor regrowth and it also aids digestion, allergies, skin, etc...
Probiotics are a must when anyone takes antibiotics. I am trying to separate the doses of antibiotics and probiotics so the good stuff won't get killed off immediately. I am giving him New Chapter (my fave suppy company) All-Flora powder-about 10 billion/day. Once he's off antibiotics, I will probably give him about 12 billion/day to replenish.
He's getting his regular dosing of Flax and Fish Oil to keep him happy & healthy.
Dogs do really well with most of the same supplements that people take. Cats are definitely a different story. They are much more sensitive to supplements and *fun fact* do not break down essential oils well so if you burn incense or use a diffuser with eo's then don't do it every day. give them some time to recover.

Herbal Fun Day

I just made slippery elm lozenges. Here's the recipe:
1 t licorice root, cut/sifted
1/2 cup slippery elm powder
1-2 T honey
1/2 cup water

Put the water and licorice root in a pot. Bring to a boil and simmer for about 10 minutes (called a decoction- used for bark, roots, etc... of plants).
Put the slippery elm powder in a bowl and create a well in the middle.
Put the honey in a 1/4 cup measuring cup (different amounts of honey depending on how sweet you want the lozenges) and add enough of the decoction to fill the measuring cup.
Add to slippery elm well and mix until a smooth dough is formed. I make a little extra decoction just in case it needs more liquid (you can also add water if too dry).
Either roll the dough out and make into little circles (you can use the top of a vanilla extract bottle) or you can roll the dough in your hands to make little balls.
Leave out 1-2 days to dry.
Package in a dark glass bottle or a tin.
Let these dissolve in your mouth-great for sore throats, coughs, and digestion!

I also made a nettle/apple cider vinegar hair rinse, a toner, and a valerian tincture. Let me know if you need these recipes because they are bad ass!
I love doing all this herbal shit- it gives me a purpose in life (at least for now).
At the coop, we are just starting to bring in medicinal herbs in the bulk section. We just got our first shipment from a local company-Love & Tea. The calendula flowers are fucking gorgeous. Even though the section is not up and running yet, we have all the ingredients for the lozenges already in the bulk spice/tea section.

Long weekends should be a good thing...

I have a 4-day weekend to celebrate Zak & my 2-year anniversary. I need this time away from work- I probably need more like 2 weeks off at this point.
Sorry for the lack of posts- I'm definitely going thru a rough patch in my life. Gotta get my shit together soon. I feel like I'm unraveling a bit.
What to do....

Bitch is the new black

Good response Jimmy

Check out all the cameos- brad pitt, joan jett, harrison ford, macy gray, joel & benji madden, cameron diaz, huey lewis, josh groban, don cheadle, pete wentz, perry farrell, robin williams, lance bass, meatloaf, and MCLOVIN!!

I want to be the one effin Matt Damon after this-A MUST SEE!

Matt Damon can really bust a move out with the best of them. Who knew?

Suppy's I'm into right now

I've been religious about my supplements lately and i've found a couple that are saving my ass. Rhodiola is the most badass of the adaptogenic herbs in my opinion. It is for upliftment, mental clarity, energy... It really works. I get so discouraged and pissy sometimes and this has really snapped me out of my funk. The rhodiola i take in tincture form or capsule (New Chapter makes it and you know how i love love love them).

I have also been into schizandra/ashwagandha for my stress needs. I've been taking this is tincture form 1-2x daily.


I have also been drinking lemon balm (or melissa) tea everyday. First thing, it tastes awesome which is rare in the suppy field. Second, it is relaxing and anti-viral which are two benefits that we all need during the winter.




Never forget the amazing power of the b-complex vitamin. I never got much of a benefit until i started taking new chapter's whole food b complex. if i skip a day i can totally tell (and everyone else probably can too). You tend to use up b vitamins first when you are stressed (internally or externally) so we can all use them especially with the weather-induced stress.

Jerry O'Connell is way funnier than I ever knew

This is one of the best youtube's i have seen in a while- it's even funny if you haven't seen the original tom cruise scientology video.

My sister introduced me to this- YOU MUST WATCH IT!

i don't like being warm anyway

the pilot light on my furnace shit the bed today...again. we just got a new ignitor 1.5 months ago. of course they are only guaranteed for 30days thru vt gas. if i have them come check it out today its $160/hr not to mention parts. and its not like if they stay 1/2 hour its only $80, that would be nice but no. so i have to wait til tomorrow when its only $80/hr which is still out of my price range. i'm glad the animals have their fur coats on.
money makes me stressed out.

1 less hot guy out there

what's with the dying people? all the hot rebellious types are kicking it. people say he had pneumonia but i'm pretty sure there was some kind of substance involved other than ambien. or they are going to have to add death to their commercial when it talks about sleep eating, driving, and overall wacky behavior.
by the way, how freaky are the joker pictures of heath. that movie is going to be some scary shit. the weird thing is that his makeup looks oddly like brandon lee's crow makeup. the curse strikes again. but watch out because my friend marcie says that things happen in 3's- Brad Renfro and Heath Ledger are the first two. Who wants to take part in the death poll? Who is next-Unfitney, Blohan, Wino?

Dem are fighting words...

The demmy debate is on and it's actually quite entertaining. Low blows here, accusations there. all in good fun i'm sure. i'm doing a bit of a facial night so i've been walking in and out of the tv room. it's hard to watch the debate while you have a face mask on and no glasses.
CT was pretty fun. i really miss vermont whenever i leave. we went to a comedy club that was located in a mall (stupid CT-even the comedian made fun of the location). He was an aussie dude named jim short. i think he would have even been funny if i hadn't been wasted.
i'm trying not to think about work and using this vacation as a fresh start. when i go back into work on thursday i want to enjoy my job again. i don't think it will be that hard to do, i just have to stop my mind from taking over.

you know you're old when celebs younger than you start dying

Ah, Brad Renfro. I was 16 and he was a mature 13. It was a simpler time: Tom and Huck had just come out, Bush's Glycerine and Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise was blasting on the radio of my first car (a silver ford escort), Billy the kid was in the White House. I was in love with this young actor. Those soulful eyes looking right thru me... Like a young River Phoenix.
Well, he's dead now. WTF? I don't know what i was expecting since last i heard he was getting arrested for stealing a boat. No cause of death yet but our money is on good ole drugs.

This is what i can look forward to on my CT extravaganza

Not a Britney related post- A Blast from the Past

Remember these nights people? I miss all of you, even Barry who I still work with.

So sad, so crazy

OK can't get enough of those fucked up Spears girls and their celebuspawn.
The boys look so cute but Britney's got some of the crazy in her eyes. The fact that she tested negative for drugs and alcohol is even scarier than if she had been tripping on some hardcore acid. From what i've seen, the prescription drugs can fuck you up way harder than the good stuff. Why I am I still talking about Britney? I guess it makes me feel more sane.

Unfitney strikes again...and again...and again

Ah, white trash. Its usually such a beautiful thing. What happened? I know that last time I got strapped to a gurney and wheeled out of my house, I was not smiling. Don't these pictures make you miss drugs while at the same time appreciate your own sanity?



And by the way, she just held one of her kids "hostage" for the three hour standoff. If I was Sean P. I would be totally pissed. So crazy mommy, you think Jayden J. is better than me? In my opinion, SP is way cuter and to tell you the truth, JJ looks a bit touched. That's the nice way to say it, right? That's JJ on the right.

Random thoughts....Random recipes

Do you ever open your mouth and can't control what comes out? Every day for this guy right here. That shit is going to catch up with me- I can't believe it hasn't yet. Anyway...

Tonight we made buffalo chicken wraps with gorgonzola. Holy crap- so simple, so delicious.
We usually crock pot the shit out of the chicken so it will shred up real nice. No time for such crock-pottery so we just grilled those bitches up and cut em into thin pieces. Proceed to smother in a broth/siracha combo (or use good ole mike's hot sauce- yes the original). I actually like this with a little bit of mayo spread on the wrap and don't forget the dang blue cheese. Sometimes I even use the cheap-ass chunky blue cheese dressing and its still effin good.

We are also going to make more of our homemade butter. We thought the best thing to use would be the Strafford Creamline (the one that you have to actually stick a knife into to get thru the layer of fat...mmmm fat layer). I think it is actually whole milk so we are trying regular heavy cream this time. You use your kitchen-aid mixer or blender and pretty much whip up the cream, add ice water, whip more, pour thru a sieve, salt, and you've got butter people. There are all different methods with having the cover on a blender for the first part, then taking it off to incorporate air in, but we have pretty good luck this way.

Next is yogurt cheese. I need to research it more but its something like hang a cheesecloth filled with full-fat yogurt on your fridge door with a bucket/bowl underneath. Apparently, you leave it overnight and the next day you have some kind of yummy curdled crap. I don't even know what to do with it but it sounds so interesting. And by interesting I mean kinda gross and intriguing.

The VT cider this year is pretty bad-ass. Maybe it's no different than the other years but I've been drinking so much dang apple juice from concentrate. So watery...
Ned Flanders has a little rhyme that can help you tell the difference:
If it's clear and yella, you've got juice there fella.
If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town....bitches.
(i added the bitches if you were wondering)

Viral in Vermont

i'm going to cut and paste a Q&A i wrote for my coop's newsletter:

Dear HABA genie,

What is this sickness that is going around Burlington like the plague? I’ve got any and every symptom in the book and I can’t tell if I have a cold or the flu! What can I do to start feeling like myself again?

Sincerely,
Viral in Vermont

Dear Viral,

Ah, virus season has struck Vermont again. I’ve never seen snot coming in all colors of the rainbow quite like this year! According to the Mayo Clinic, adults generally catch 2-4 colds a year and children (preschoolers being the most susceptible) between 5-9! That’s a whole lot of virus to be exposed to.
First, I’ll start by telling you the difference between colds and flu. Colds often come with the good old runny nose, sneezing, and coughing with the occasional sore throat. The flu comes with all the fun of a cold but tends to add a fever, excessive coughing, and muscle aches galore. How can I forget about the nausea and diarrhea? In my personal experience, the flu comes out of nowhere while a cold slowly takes over.
Before I get to my favorite treatment options, let me tell you about prevention. Stay rested, get plenty of exercise, limit the stress, drink tons of water, and eat as well as possible. I can’t tell people enough to wash their hands frequently. There is also the flu vaccine, which as most have heard can be controversial. My favorite supplement company, New Chapter, just released a preventative formula called Blockade. It is elderberry based and is different from many anti-virals because it works to target and block viruses before they can replicate and comes in fast-acting lozenge form. Immune boosters are key to prevention. The most common choice is echinacea but I have had the best luck with Eclectic Institute’s Larix. This is made from the western larch tree and comes in powder and tablet form. You can take it daily or at the first sign of cold/flu.
Don’t worry if it is too late for prevention, I’ve got a few more tricks up my sleeve. There are many anti-viral herbs that can help. My favorite is astragalus, with garlic close behind. Olive leaf, licorice, elderberry (a local company called Honey Garden Apiaries makes an amazing syrup that actually tastes great), and lemon balm (which in loose form, makes an amazing tasting tea) along with many others that are applicable to these ailments.
Homeopathy is pretty much a standard for me this time of year. I have had the best luck with Boiron’s Coldcalm and the hard-to-pronounce Oscillococcinum for flu. Once the Oscillo starts selling, I know the flu season has officially begun. In my experience, homeopathy is best at the first sign of illness and works great on the symptoms while stimulating your body’s own immune response to kick out the sick.